Things i am doing tonight

Since upon seeing my med doc this afternoon and deciding that i need to start taking my meds double at night again going to take them at 7pm cst as it helps me sleep and try to get on a normal sleep schedule.. before we tried it just 1 at day time for all three and then 1 at night for all three but that didn't work to well so now back to the old.. hopefully this will set my moods to being some what stavle, i hate the way i am when i am hype emotional sometimes it happens in the oddest way like if i go into work see the lights it happens and i have a anxiety attack so trying to lvl my stress and just every day thing to a little as possible to make my inside happy which i never am.. gotta go to bed really early tonight so i wont be late to work.. this is how it all started changeing my meds around so i wont be late.. but i think my health is important and walmart has been pretty flexible with me on my taking meds i really like where i work and its a chance for me to be around other people because normally i am at home alone most of my life cept work so this is a good opportunity for me.

my apt is a total mess so decided to clean one room a day till it is all better the only thing is i hate doing laundry.. right now i am washing the dishes and listening to star trek the next generation don't kn ow what iu would do without the sc fi channel lol...

my mood right now is kind of happy only cause i am doing something around the house.

gotta go take my meds...

Meet the Spartans 2008 movie Trailer!

This movie I just had to go out and get .. I like the 300 alot and wanted to get the funny one.. now i can go out and drink coke and eat subway and think of 300 LOL... 2 thumbs up..you will laugh you will cry you will love the dancing thins movie is great..

Poll

So I have this poll to see where i should go alone out in the big world, usually i don't go anywhere cept work and home.. but feeling the need to be out with people and around them.. all that is wrong with that is i am afraid of big crowds funny considering where i work at its just crowds that are close together.. But i need to do it at least try to do it ..

"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" TRAILER

I went and saw this movie today its really good I think everyone should see it...2 thumbs up...

The Tree

The calm from the storm in the head of delight
I ask in the middle of the twilight
not to bring me no more pain
no more sorrow
from the land of the waking
the land of the dead
to which i know see in my head
souls that have been harmed
souls that have been lost and found
by a tree in the woods
thats where you will find me
tacked up in my life
jacked up
like the light in the sky
the colors so bold and bright
just like the endless night
of the 2 souls left behind
its the tree of life
the tree of death
that keeps you wondering in the night
one helpless
hapless soul...

music

so i play my music loud as i can go to cover up the ringing of my ears and i sing to it.. Sting is good for that i really like the song Fragile... it reminds me of me in a way.. always been my favorite song by him..

Sadness

I hate who i am
from, the colors that run inside my head make my head hurt
cry tears of pain
i hate who i am
so alone in this life so alone thats who i am
my ears ring , wishing that it could be answered
like someone at the door to greet me
but thats not the case.
I hate i am
tears of pain and sorrow
tears constant of day and night

no one would know if i am gone
just pack up
pack up my head
this life is not for me being alone

crying is all i know
i hate my life hate the sun the people
who look and stare when i am here
of asking to many questions

is your leg going to pop

people drive me to brink
of tears
day in day out

i am alone
for i am
I

will always be alone